Goodbye, So Long...

Warning: Super long post ahead!


I'm writing this bitterly at 12:30am the morning I'm leaving New York City because I've been trying to sleep for the last 3 hours due to my 2:30 shuttle pick up, but alas my body hates me and is not allowing that to happen, so hooray for a crabby Saturday. In all honesty thought, I'm probably going to be crabby anyway as I'm leaving New York City and New York University.


Five months ago when I received this offer through the ACUHO-I process, I almost turned it down. Though it was the only offer I received, I was concerned about the short amount of hours and pay. After talking it out with some friends, I realized there was no way I could turn this offer down, and I'm so happy I didn't. This has truly been the experience of a lifetime, and I couldn't have asked for more. Everyone that I worked with this summer seemed so genuinely happy to be here and wanted to be serving students. Even the student staff seemed more mature and dedicated than what I was expecting, and they made it that much easier.


I won't lie and pretend the first few weeks here in terms of actual work were a little rocky and I was unsure of myself. This was due to a lot of different factors, but I wouldn't call the experience negative, rather it was an adjustment period of me not only adjusting to everything here, but also my transition back into housing after being away for a year. Even though it took me a few weeks to really find my place at work, I still couldn't help to be so happy with where I was and what I was doing. This was especially true whenever I learned about the actual residential education programs and other services within Student Affairs here at NYU. But even in my own building where I worked, being back working with students reignited something within me, a fire that had been barely going.


For any friends or close family that know me, it probably wouldn't be a surprise when I say that I had been struggling over the last 18 months or so prior to my arrival at NYU. My last semester in Residence Life at UWRF was not a positive one for multiple reasons. The grad school & job search process did not go the way I was expecting it to, and by the time I graduated in May 2010 my confidence in my abilities and sense of who I was had taken a severe beating. I felt like I had done everything and had worked my ass off for nothing. When I got the call a little over a week after I graduated that I had been offered an assistantship in the Alumni office at UCM I accepted immediately and was just thankful for the opportunity. The next two and half months I spent at home working and getting ready for the transition, but I think it was pretty obvious I was not happy that summer. For a lot of that summer I became complacent, and felt like I was just passing through life which is not like me at all. 2.5 weeks before I moved down to Missouri I got in the first car accident since I had gotten my license, with me at fault, and looking back now I think it was wake up call from someone up above that I really was lucky, and my focus began to renew.


In August when I actually moved down to Missouri I was very excited to start my position and was ready for the next chapter in my life. I thought it was time for a fresh start, a time for me to finally be independent, to begin anew, and in some senses this happened. Almost immediately I was thrilled with my classes, and though they sometimes dipped into that old feeling of "school" that we all hated going to (as is inevitable with any program) I always knew that I was absolutely making the right choice by going into Student Affairs. Unfortunately the same could not be said for my assistantship. Don't get me wrong, I learned a lot in the Alumni Office and am very thankful for everything, but there was always something missing, and again I wasn't happy. Looking back now it wasn't even that I wasn't in Res Life anymore; being off campus and in a "professional" work environment really pulled me down a lot more than I realized, it didn't fit. I think I knew within the first month last year that I would be applying for a Residence Hall Director position for this next year, but I never thought I would actually get it. In February when Alan called me with the offer, I think that was probably one of the happiest moments in my life. I knew I was on track to where I needed to be. The last 2 months of the semester were a struggle to get through, as I just felt "done" with my assistantship and the work load with classes was very intense.


This summer I feel has finally brought me back on track, to where I need to be with school, my career, and me. NYU has allowed me to see what is possible for an institution outside of the 2 similar midwestern schools I've been at, and those possibilities are amazing. Some of the programs and services offered within and outside of Residence Life here are truly remarkable, and I hope to use their ideas in the future. The support from the professional staff both directly and indirectly has been more than I ever could have hoped for, and the same can be said from my student staff. I've been kind of just pushing through the last couple weeks because I'm ready to start my next chapter, but pausing for a moment, I've been incredibly blessed this summer. I honestly hope to maintain many of the connections I've made here, and while the location of NYU makes me very uncertain about the feasibility of actually applying for a professional position here, it's awesome to know I made a positive impact during my ten weeks here and that I feel like I fit here.


I will of course also miss NYC. When people say there's no place like it, they really do mean it. I think I was very fortunate in my housing placement in Union Square in Manhattan. This was an incredible neighborhood to be around, and I love the culture. I won't lie, I'm happy to be going back to a place with more trees and grass and nature, but I am going to miss this indescribable melting pot of people and culture. Wherever I get a job next year, I know now that it need to be in close proximity to a city. It is going to be weird to go back to places like Walmart, only pay $6.50 for a movie (student discount!), not have public transportation, and most important to me not be able to go see a broadway show any time I want. But, the memories I have made here I know are going to stay with me for a long time. Having several friends come visit this summer was a blessing, and made the whole experience so much better than I'm sure it would have been had I been alone.


To every person that even the smallest impact on my experience this summer in whatever way, thank you. I have learned so much about myself, this field, and much much more. As I begin my next chapter I'm sure I will reflect more on my time here in NYC. Whether or not those reflections end up here I do not know, but for now I must thank you for reading this blog. I hope my ridiculous wordy-ness hasn't annoyed you and that you've been able to take something away from my experiences. In some way I'm sure your reading of this blog has helped me too. For now I will say goodbye. I have another blog at bkes216.blogspot.com that I haven't updated since January, but I will probably add to over the next year. Thanks again for reading and allowing me to process my thoughts. This chapter is closing, but I can't wait to start the next one.


-Brandon